I don't hate children. I don't know where that came from. I really don't. It's just that a lot of my friends and other people I know are starting to have children. And I think that's, uh, rude. I mean I use to hang out with all these people and now they have babies.
I mean, we used to be friends. C'mon. I've been drooling all over myself for the past 23 years. Why do these rookies get the spotlight? I can put together coherent sentences and know how to manage a bank account. What do these kids got? Nothing. Nothing, people.
Some would argue that they are cute. I thought that we as a people were trying to move away from this idealistic Hollywood-sponsored movement of "cuteness" and start hanging out with people based on what they have on the inside. And I have a lot more insides than these "babies" who are doing nothing for our society but freeloading along. I mean I've known so many babies that don't bring in any income and who has to pay for their food and their living expenses. Their parents! I mean if I told my roommate to buy all my food and pay for all the rent and for my student loans, I'd be kicked out so fast. I mean I should know. I'm writing this on a laptop that I borrowed (stole) since Wednesday.
I try to break into this acting business and here I am being beat out for parts by babies for diaper commercials! C'mon, I look way better in those diapers. Lousy, good for nothing, know nothing, free loading infants.
BOYCOTT BABIES!!
ReplyDeleteJanie would like to call you on your claims that you would look better in a diaper. She says come on over and we'll have a competition.
ReplyDeleteBut you'll have to bring your own diapers. Ours are all 8-13 lbs, and, while you Are skinny, you're not that skinny.
Let us know when and where! We'll bring the baby!
-Dave C