Broken, Not Defective

I don't it's too much of a secret that the Christian church views humanity as broken, which I agree. In Romans, it says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (3:23) and goes on the speak about the redemption that comes from Jesus Christ and it was by grace that we are forgiven. Awesome. Completely onboard. Everyone can admit that we don't always live up to the standard of perfection of always loving other people and God. It is an inevitability that we will be selfish because there is a lot of time in our lifetimes where we can screw up.

I will also concede that even once you are a Christian and you are gung ho for being a better disciple, it is not necessarily easier to live a life of righteousness and generousity. We still have desires in our heart that lead us to make serve ourselves and will continue to have until the very day we die and we are likely to screw many times before that time comes.

However, I also hear a lot of talk that also makes it seem like humanity is incapable of being good. It is like it is in fashion for a Christian to have a heaping dose of self hatred and poor self image. That we are so flawed that anything good we do accomplish is clearly only because of the grace of God. I have even heard from a few people that wouldn't be able to love anybody without God. Really? You would not be able to love anybody?

Now, when I respond so incredulously like I just did, Christians will concede that "well, ok, I could love a little bit, but I couldn't keep it up and love everybody or for a long time". I sometimes wonder if perhaps we think that the standard is actually way higher than it really is. I don't love everybody in the world. It would be ludicrous for me to say that I do. I haven't met over six billion of them. I don't think God even expects us to because that is way beyond our capability. That's where I think some people think that we are broken and are sinful because we don't "love everybody".

I think that we are to love those who are our neighbour. Those that we have contact with and where we can impact people. Just because I don't send a care package to every one of the six billion people out there or pray for each one individually it doesn't mean that is why we "have fallen short of the glory of God".

I also believe that people are fully capable of loving others and I think that many do even without "Jesus being in their heart". Why? Because we may be broken, but we are not defective. I am aware that I may be arguing semantics, but what I am getting at is that there is a common thread in a lot of Christian thought that says that we are essentially fleshy garbage and that we can not do any good unless it is God working through us.

What happens because of this thought I think is that we start punishing and belittling ourselves for being garbage because of our transgressions and we actually don't move on. We cry to Jesus to forgive us, but we aren't willing to embrace that idea that we can be different and be people who love and live lives that are good. God has forgiven us, but we refuse to forgive ourselves. Paul even writes that when we follow Christ, our old selves died on the cross with Him, but in the same way, we are resurrected with Him. He gives second life and it is one that we share with Him. We are able to shake free of the burden of the law and always being worried about always having to give sacrifices, but rather focusing on becoming more what God wants us to be which is to love God, love others and transform lives. We recognize that we may still screw up, but let's not dwell on that. Let's just keep pushing forward and trying to become better. Trying to become this sort of heroic persona of ourselves.

We are not garbage. We are people that are selfish and hurt others and we get off track. We are also people who can love and be good and God wants us to move past those mistakes and become perfect even to the point of forgiving us at all costs as long as we are willing to change and follow the way of life Jesus exemplified and preached. Making Jesus our Lord.

The good news about this is that God doesn't actually think you are defective and terrible. The good news is that He wants us to succeed and be righteous or in other words perfect, willing to look past our mistakes through forgiveness given to us by Christ. That He wants to save us from ourselves that would lead us to the destruction of our eternal selves.

The hard part of this versus this traditional idea from the church that we are scumbags and that God should just wipe us out but for some inexplicable reason is willing to forgive us, is that because we are fully capable of being these heroic personas, we are obligated to strive to become that. It is not some magic prayer that lets us in, but actually us changing our attitudes and behaviors to be more outward focussed.

It seems like when we have this idea that we are scumbags, then it is somehow okay to continue on hurting others or ourselves or God because we are so dependent on grace anyways, that it's just all kind of a wash. That as long as we are perpetually groveling to God then we'll make it into heaven okay. If God believes that we are scumbags and are completely incapable of being able to live good lives, then all He is doing is redeeming garbage.

However, He knows us. He knows that we are able to live lives that are generous, benevolent, sacrificial and honorable lives and that we just need to turn away from ourselves and follow Him, then He is redeeming heroes who don't realize that they could be heroes.

I am absolutely tired of Christians hating themselves and others simply because we are human. We make kids believe that they are entrenched with evil and need to ask for mercy. This attitude is what I believe keeps people from Jesus and the church. This attitude makes people weak and afraid to stand up and become the people Jesus actually calls us to be. To be human is to struggle, but to be human also means to have potential.

It hurts so much because I know that a life that follows Christ is about becoming better people, not about how we're evil. Jesus came to break those chains that we seem to want to continue to carry. But people will refuse. They will continue to hate themselves in spite of the fact Jesus loves them.

"He floated back down 'cause he wanted to share

His key to the locks on the chains he saw everywhere

But first he was stripped and then he was stabbed

By faceless men, well, fuckers

He still stands

And he still gives his love, he just gives it away

The love he receives is the love that is saved

And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky

A human being that was given to fly"

- "Given to Fly" from the Pearl Jam album "Yield"

Lost in Thought: "The End"

Today I picked up "LOST: The Complete Collection" which included all six seasons in one package along with many other nifty extras. Normally, I wouldn't just pick up the entire collection when I already have 5 out of the 6 seasons already, but this was different. LOST really is an entire collection and now that I have seen the show, I can appreciate the entirety of the show. It was truly worth the investment of time and money into one of the most thought-provoking hours of television.

This is as good as any time to do a review of the show as any. I was away from my home computer and was not able to type out a review before, but I have just finished watching the special features of the final season (along with the last twenty minutes of the last episode) and now LOST is once again racing through my mind.

As silly as it is to admit, I have to say that the LOST finale was one of the things that actually impacted me this summer (along with many more important events) and as I watched the cast and crew review the creation of the last season, I was brought to tears and contemplated matters of my own life once more. I think the main reason that this show has hit me as hard as it has is the fact that this show focuses on the nature of humanity. Mind you, many movies, TV shows and books do that, but it may be one of the few that deals with the state of spirituality in the modern era.

When I was talking with Pastor Arden from Nelson (where I will be heading in just over a month), he pointed out that LOST highlights the need of spirituality that modern North American culture yearns for but has been disenfranchised with due to bad experiences with religion or unfamiliar with due to a lack of experience with religion. LOST is a summary of North American spirituality. Even though Lost is not a Christian show, it clearly tackles the same issue that Christianity (along with other world religions) addresses.

I know that many people were disappointed with the apparent lack of answers to many questions, I still feel that at the end of the show, all the major questions I had were addressed. Sure, there are many that were left hanging, but to go out of the way to answer it would have been answering it for the sake of answering it and thus taking away from the major narrative of the story. Although, a few of those questions were addressed in a special 10 minute segment made for the DVD. However, it would have been strangely out of place had they put those into the finale itself or really into the final season at all. For the sake of those who care to check it out, they talk about questions like "What was the deal with the palette drops in season 2?" or "What was so special about Walt?" It was interesting, but not necessary. Especially after watching the other special features and being again reminded of what that show was.

Lost had two major themes that came through out the show and that was the idea of community and redemption.

In season one the castaways were faced with a dire situation and they were deciding how to deal with things and it was pretty chaotic. It was at this point that Jack stepped forward and talked about how people needed to band together if they were to survive.

"Last week most of us were strangers. But we're all here now. And God knows how long we're going to be here. But if we can't live together—we're gonna die alone"

With that line, one of the foundations of the show was laid. Live together or die alone. There was multiple times in making the movie trailers throughout the summer that I referenced that idea and I even named one of my speeches at the Kootenay camp "Live Together or Die Alone". The flash sideways was used to underscore that main tenet of the show. Whatever happens in the after life, we are going to be facing it together. One of the thoughts I have had about death is that when we go to face our judgment, it is not going to be me facing God, but rather us as a humanity and it will be our ability to live as a people who took care of each like God commanded us that will be judged. God knows that we are not doing that now and it will have to be on the mercy of Jesus Christ that we are forgiven for failing as a humanity.

I think that we should not be simply concerned with our own personal redemption, but rather the redemption of humanity. It puts a different spin on why we do good works. It means that we do good works, not for the sake of salvation, but rather as an avenue to aid our fellow humanity who we are ultimately going to be linked with in the afterlife.

The other major theme is redemption which I have already touched on, but it specifically about how no matter our situation and background, we are capable of being redeemed. No one is beyond redemption and it is up to us to embrace that change in character. In the show, we have a group of people who are flawed, but in the situation they find themselves in on the island, they are brought to a place where they can find redemption and become the hero archtype that should be outside of their grasp.

In the same way, humanity are faced with situations and people who stand in their way and it is possible for a person to rise above and become the enlightened hero. We may not have to face a foe as powerful as Darth Vader, but like the characters in Lost, we may face people like a boss that bullies us or an impossible standard put before us by our father and our redemption and evolution into a person of a heroic archtype is found in the trials of our character along with the support of the community.

In the end, what I walk away with at the end of Lost is that people can be redeemed and that it is found through the power of the good community. Of course, I would submit that it also requires the pursuit of goodness that is found at the core of teachings of Jesus, but for a network television series to actually address anything of spiritual significance and in a profound way is amazing.

One of the reasons the ending of the show has impacted me as much as it did this summer was the imagery it used in the flash sideways. The idea that people would find each other in the afterlife before they move onto their final destination was fascinating. I was thinking about what would my flash sideways look like and I have a feeling that it would look like camp. A camp where the people significant would gather and it would be around the camp fire where we'd realize the significance of each other in each others lives. I can imagine some people would be around that fire and it is such an interesting exercise.

So my question to you is: Who would be in your flash sideways and what would it look like for you?

For me, Lost was a fantastic show that dealt with issues rarely touched by television and actually got me thinking inwardly as to where am I in the whole scheme of things and that is something I can't say for a lot of things. Kudos to the cast and crew to making one of the best shows on television.

(It kills me to quote a Creed song, but alas, the song fits perfect)

"Why hold down one to raise another?
Discrimination now on both sides
Seeds of hate blossom further
The world is heading for mutiny
When all we want is unity
We may rise and fall, but in the end
We meet our fate together"
- Creed's "One" from their album "My Own Prison"

Your Will Be Done

A few weeks ago, I posted something about prayer and how I feel like I shouldn't ask for things because it is assuming I know what I need. Perhaps I just need to go through tough times so I can become a stronger person. Anyways, Gavin in the comment section asked about my thoughts on the Lord's prayer and I thought it would be an interesting idea. I would like to think that my ideas on prayer line up with this because if it doesn't, I should be excommunicated. I will say this before I start. Many smarter people have written more in tune ideas about what you're about to read. I'm a fake intellectual.

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed by your name..."

This statement puts everything where it should be. It is a wonderful statement of you are God and I am not in the same league as you. It is important to revere God and sometimes I think that especially with some modern Christians, it is popular to bring God down to our level. That He's our buddy, which I have always felt uncomfortable with. I wrote about this idea a while ago, but it still holds true. God is not one of our human peers. He is the creator of the world. I don't want to hang out with Him at the pub and shoot pool.

"...your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven..."

This is where I see that we have to submit our ideas to what God would have us do. Now, I take this fairly broadly. I once again do not believe that we have to funnel every decision through God and wait for a magic sign for us to proceed on something. That said, we know what God's will is. It is to love God and love others. I'll take a side note and say what I believe it means to love God. The biggest one is respect. When we are talking about loving someone who is in authority, we usually don't mean a romantic love or even a friendship kind of love. Usually, it is a love that shows respect. Like you would to your parents. You show love to your parents by obeying them and valuing their input. You want to love God? It's not by merely saying that you love God, it is also about trying to lead a discipline life.

This prayer reminds us that we want to submit to God and that we want to follow his will. It is also admitting that God's idea of what should happen is not dependent on what I think needs to happen. For the individual, showing respect to God and showing kindness, generosity and compassion for our fellow humankind is our way of backing up our words.

"...give us today our daily bread..."

This implies to me that God is not some magic machine, but rather keeps it simple. I think it also opens us up to being able to make plans. We can make decisions on our own and we can set up our goals as long as we follow God's will of loving Him and loving others. It also puts it on us to actually execute our plans. The prayer does not say that "give us today our daily bread and $40,000 and a passport" but rather just keeps it to what we need. Bread is something we need. God also knows what we need. God knows that if we need $40,000 and a passport and we are working towards it and it is something that needs to happen, it will happen. However, I think we sometimes whole-heartedly believe that we need something specific and maybe it just simply isn't meant to be. Am I saying that it's wrong to ask for something specific? No. I am saying that we need to approach it with humility. That we approach God saying that "This direction seems to be where I need to go and/or where You are calling me next and yet I am not sure how to overcome this obstacle. Help me to find the best way to bring this about whether it is by my hand or with Your help or by Your grace." To me, it seems bizarre that I would declare to God what He should give me.

However, this prayer also admits that we can't always do it on our own, but if God is there to give us the basics, then that is still giving us the ability to do His will.

"...forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors..."

This is, in my mind, an admission of who we are. We are broken and we screw up. It is also a vital reminder about how we need to see our common humanity and how we need to show grace. If this phrase was one that the world could learn to live by, it would be a wonderful thing. It is so difficult to have mercy on those around us when they do something wrong, but somehow we always have a justification for what we do wrong. It is a call to take responsibility, a quality that is elusive to many people. If we do not own up to our own wrongs, then we can never attain the true ability to forgive others and fix broken relationships.

"...and lead us not into temptation..."

This, to me, is one of the most interesting phrases in the prayer. I do not believe that God would lead us to temptation in the first place, so it's a bit curious. In the end, it comes back to the line before it and the line after it and that context is needed. It is another admission of who we are. We are so susceptible to putting ourselves first, that we need God. We need to have it infused into our character to be people of compassion and love, which are not focused on the self but rather outwards. It is a reminder for us that we should not turn in on ourselves but rather keep God's will in mind.

"...but deliver us from the evil one."

Some transcripts say "evil" and not the "evil one". Call me a heretic if you will, but I have been reluctant to admit that there is a devil. In fact, I would even say I don't. Because even if he did exist, it really should not affect how we live our lives. I think that some times when people believe that a devil is trying to get them to do evil things, that it sort of gives people a scape goat for their bad behavior. They tend not to fully own up to their decisions. The fact is, whether it is the devil, another person or our own selfish desire, we still make the decision. It is not anyone else's fault that we make our decisions the way we do. That's why I don't mind not believing in the devil. Just like I don't mind not caring about how Jesus is going to come back because it shouldn't affect how I should live now or even in the future. In some regards we are our own devil. The fight of good and evil is mostly inside the individual. I tend to think that you really can't change people, you can only really change yourself. What is a good decision and what is an evil decision comes down to whether we are others-focused or self-focused. Our temptations are all around us to put ourselves first and maybe some devil is trying to push us in a direction he wants us to go, but he never makes our decisions for us.

I guess, in reflection of the Lord's prayer as a whole, it really has given the outline to my theology. It's interesting because I think that is almost the point of the prayer. This is an outline of what is important in this shared relationship with the heavenly Father. God has given us incredible freedom but we also have the responsibility to a live a life that is in the moment and full of love and grace which is the most difficult life. However, through the grace of God we can live up to it and make it so His will will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

"Too many men

There's too many people

Making too many problems

And not much love to go around

Can't you see

This is a land of confusion.

Now this is the world we live in

And these are the hands we're given

Use them and let's start trying

To make it a place worth fighting for."

- "Land of Confusion" by Genesis from their album "Invisible Touch"

Quit Stating the Same Phrase Over and Over Again As If It Were a Legitimate Form of Debate

The topic in church today was solitude. One of the disciplines that I probably do the best at. When I actually take time to reflect is probably one of best things I can do to refocus. Since we were out at Bird's Hill Park, we were given the chance to actually spend some time alone. I decided to take a walk down the road which is the method I normally take for solitude. The thing I revolved around was the idea of my relationship to God. I have such a weird struggle with that concept. Relationship to God. What does that even mean? It seems like it's supposed to be so important to have a strong relationship to God, which is important I suppose, but as I listen to people talk about relationship to God as if it's the same as friendship with God. That you need to have a friendship with God. That He's your buddy, your pal. You stay up watching movies and rassle around and play pranks on each other.

I don't want that kind of relationship at all with God. Some sort of invisible friend. I mean, if we're supposed to be friends and yet I have to feel bad about missing prayer time and that I'm letting my friend down or being a terrible friend to Jesus or something, but I can't complain that He's never here to go play catch with. Or that I can bum a ride off or go get Slurpees with. Because that's what I do with friends. Some people would probably argue, "Well, isn't God there when you go do those things? Isn't he there?"

"I guess. In some form. But it's kind of got some weird peeping tom feel to it."

"But isn't it more like He's there though."

"Well, no. I'm saying it's not the same as a friend. Most of my friends are not invisible, omnipotent, omniscient beings."

"But the Bible tells us that He can be."

"Ok, yes, I get the idea that He has mercy on us and that He doesn't have to. But He's not actually here. Like a friend would be in the traditional sense."

"But wouldn't you want God as a friend?"

"Not really. I mean, it would the same kind of thing as spending time with the Queen of England and then saying that you're friends with her."

"It's not the same."

"Of course, it's not the exact same, I wasn't trying-"

"Because God is more powerful and He loves you."

"Yeah, I read John 3:16, too. But it's not helping your point. God is a mighty being that created the world, created me, created a way of life that would the best way to live life. He's given us everything."

"So doesn't that make Him your friend?"

"No, that makes Him God. Look a friend's not going to give you life, purpose and meaning. But when I want to go and play some Rock Band, I am not expecting Jesus to show up and do vocals. Why? Because He's God. He's got important things to do. I understand."

"But He's always there."

"Yes, but as God, not as my buddy."

"You're making Him sound like He's just some authority figure who's here to make sure we're not doing something bad."

"No, you're assuming that's what the role of authority figures are. God fits better into the role of authority than into the role of drinking buddy."

"Of course, He's an authority, but can't He also be a friend?"

"No! Not in the same way!"

"But can't He?"

"No!"

"But can't He?"

"Quit stating the same phrase over and over again as if it were a legitimate form of debate. I know in some Christian churches that would fly but not here in the realm of reality.

"...But can't He?"

"...Look, God offers us a life and gives us guidelines and a philosophy. If we are living that out and doing what we're supposed to be doing, then we shouldn't need God to be our friend. We need God and His scriptures as a way to gives us encouragement, a source of strength, a way of life."

"Like a friend would."

"...sort of? Except for that last part. That's why God as my friend does not work."

"Ok, so then what does having a relationship with God mean, smarty pants?"

"First of all, can we get rid of the term 'smarty pants'? It is ridiculous. You're a grown man, pretend person I am supposedly talking to. Secondly, I see the whole relationship of God more of a business relationship than a friendship."

"That's making God distant."

"Ok, yes, it's not a perfect metaphor. But just hear me out."

"I don't do that."

"Alright, listen imaginary Christian, I've listened to your garbage for the last 20 years, let me talk for once."

"Fine."

"To me, the walk of a Christian and the relationship to God is in some ways similar to a corporation like Roger's."

"Are you suggesting that the place where you work is God?"

"You're an idiot. I have barely started. Can you just shut up? Anyway, Roger's is one of those lifestyle corporations. You can, in some parts of the country, get Roger's cable, internet, wireless, home phone and video rentals. It is up to the consumer to embrace as much of the Roger's brand and the goal of the company is to promote the Roger's lifestyle. In some ways, a Christian walk is like one of these lifestyle corporations. While a Roger's lifestyle does not encompass all of life and focuses on communications, connectivity and entertainment, a Christian lifestyle does have a complete picture of a lifestyle and focuses on discipline, goodness, and faithfulness. God does not force us to take up a God lifestyle, but it works together so much better if you do. With Roger's, you can get a consolidated bill, you get discounts. With God, the whole of the teachings work better together and it up to us how much we buy into the Christian lifestyle. Some only like certain parts of the lifestyle, but it works together so much better as a whole. The more you run under one philosophy, one ideal, the better your walk with Christ. But you have to buy into it. The more you have to be devoted to Christ."

"So are you suggesting I have to join Roger's to be a Christian?"

"...You're a fucking idiot."

I'm sorry about that last f-bomb. I get frustrated, even in fictional arguments with made-up people. I have just been thinking about what my relationship with God should look like. It seems like a more and more popular idea that Jesus should be one of my friends or something and that if I don't that I'm not a good Christian. But that doesn't seem to fit. It seems to be that if that our goal is to be God's friend, then it makes things like the fact that Jesus died for my sins look like as if it was like a rich kid buying expensive gifts for others just so that they'll be His friend. And then when we do something bad or don't spend time in the Word or neglect our prayer life that some how we're hurting this wiener of rich kid who was just trying to buy our friendship off of us. God doesn't need to be our friend, but the fact is that He loves us. He wants us to follow a certain code of conduct, not because it will make Him happy, but rather it is the way we should be living. The choices we make to embrace God or reject God is not some friendship, but rather a mentorship that we either buy into or leave. God doesn't force us into it or is trying to make us feel guilty about not embracing Him but giving us the tools so that we know what a good life looks like and what will bring us closer to Him.

That pretty much explains my most recent revelation, but this is already pretty ridonculously long so I'm going to go. Peace? I guess. I don't know how to end this one off.