Sunday, October 16, 2005

I Deserve to Have Food Summoning Powers

What a wonderful technologically advanced era I live in. It's great. I get to listen to free internet music that I get to choose. I get to play video games. Watch movies. Talk to people far away on my cell phone. I can do a lot of stuff. All at my finger tips. It's great. God has truly blessed me. I mean what more could I want. Or need. I guess if it were possible to create food out of thin air, that would be awesome. But I mean aside from that, there is no where to go. I'd have all the stuff I have now and a food summoning machine. That's it. Life would be set. And maybe like a hover car. That's only if they get around to it. I don't think it would happen, but it does, that'd be just peachy to have. And it's not like I deserve one anyway. I mean who do I think I am? Why should I demand more, right? Just because I'm North American and am a good-hearted individual who gives of his time and energy to promote good as best I can, why should I expect more? Wait. Why shouldn't I? This is incredible. This is like a break through. I've never thought of this before. Of course I deserve more. Look at me. I'm hot. I'm large and in charge. I have a drama degree for goodness' sake. I shouldn't be on the same plane as the rest of you common peasant folk. I deserve to have food summoning powers and a hover car, no hovering abilities and telepathy. Man, I've just been too humble for way too long. What about me for once? That's it I'm out of here to burst in and demand my rights even if I don't know what my rights are. Who's with me?!

Friday, October 07, 2005

Telling Some Guy That His Cookies Suck Will Get You Kicked Out of Anything

I officially joined the "Shrugging Off the Responsibility of Blogging" which is a nation-wide group of bloggers who are committed to stating awesome blogs and then leave all the people who read in the dark and never posting ever again. That's why there's a lack of posting. But I was recently kicked out for my comments that I had at our convention when I said, "Isn't there something better we could be doing than wasting taxpayers' money on flying to Ottawa just to try out some guy's cookies. You guys are all losers. You taunt people and destroy their lives of dependency on our wit or in some cases ignorance. Besides, the cookies weren't even that good." Telling some guy that his cookies suck will get you kicked out of anything.

Besides, I've been doing a lot of other writing and when you write a sketch and then you think, "Hey, I could write in my blog," that's when your creativity is at it's lowest. That's because small gremlins come and steal away the creativity and put it into a small cage and make fun of it. Mind you, it's not too harsh. Usually they just mock the style of clothing and about how the creativity smells like something they think smells bad, which is like good for the rest of us. Like when a gremlin says, "You smell like flowers," he's actually trying to insult you. So, I mean the creativity is intact, it's just inconvenienced and "insulted".

Oh, and I have wonderful news. It seems as though my wisdom tooth is coming in wrong and is creating just the greatest sense of euphoria, that makes me want to continue to have the tooth cause me vast amounts of pain, because that is just what I'm looking for right now.

Sarcasm doesn't really come out in writing very well. Anyways, I plan to go to the tooth doctor or "tooth dentist" and I think he'll solve it by putting leeches on the teeth so that it can suck out the sick inside that was put there by witches.