A Thrill of Hope

Christmas to me has been something I've been sort of fascinated with in the last few years, simply because Christmas has always been a weird, uncomfortable time for me despite the significant presence it had in the various communties I have been surrounded by.
In the broad North American culture, I have observed three main portrayals of Christmas that filter through most North American lives. There are others, I know, but I cannot speak to those since I am only me. These are the ones I see and feel the most.

The most blatant portrayal is the vilified Commercial Christmas. The idea that there is an ideal Christmas where you have the perfect turkey dinner and Christmas tree and decorations and moments and presents for your loved ones. All of which that can be supplied with just the right tools and services for the right price. It's easy to see it's presence and to mock. Some people love the spectacle and bombast of the season because it highlights wonder and awe. Undoubtedly, the forced buying of presents for others does not really make sense in the religious context, but there is a sense of some kind of magic in the music and decorations that tries real hard to sell magic. Spoiler alert, it's just shiny noise.

Another prominent portrayal is the obvious religious context of Christmas. It's the story about the Son of God coming to earth to help show humanity the way to live a life that is fundamentally one that brings peace, justice, and love. That hope is not lost yet. For the wider North American culture, this time highlights the best aspects of the Christian philosophy where those who are in need are elevated and are to be cared for. However, it is obvious that as Christianity slowly loses it influence over North American culture, that this portrayal takes more of a backseat. Instead, it seems like the idea that declaring your affiliation with Christianity by demanding that "Merry Christmas" be said over "Happy Holidays" is the extent of the spiritual nature of the season.

The third portrayal of Christmas is the super popular family Christmas. This is the Christmas that is universally loved by North America. Even Christians soak their Christmas in the importance of family Christmas. Movies love family Christmas. The writers, directors, and performers love family Christmas because it highlights the best parts about being a human. They try to push their message through the noise of commercial Christmas. From a secular point of view, family Christmas is the ideal Christmas. Family Christmas highlights the idea that we should spend time, energy, and money on those we care about to show how much they matter to us.

This brings me back to my first paragraph. Christmas has always been a weird time for me throughout my life even though I have always wanted the best parts of the three kinds of Christmases.

In my younger days, Christmas was portrayed as religious day. It had to be. Our family could not afford Commercial Christmas. The house we rented we rented was too small to put up a tree in. So we had to put our gifts in a small pile and place one of our aloe vera plants (the pot of which was actually a used ice cream pail) on top. The presents were never in the realm of what the other kids from schoool got. They'd talk about getting the new video games or expensive sports equipment or whatever they as individuals treasured as I would get small gifts.

I knew Santa wasn't real because I never got a gift from him. Perhaps it stemmed from a belief system, but it makes much more sense that it was a financial reason that trumped any other consideration.

I remember that as a 10 year old, that I was aware of our financial situation to the degree that I braced myself going into Christmas Eve (when my family opened presents) by reminding myself that I was not likely to get what I wanted. That year really tested my resolve because out of my four gifts, three of them were clearly in boxes. The best gifts were always in boxes. If you picked up a package and it was soft, those were garbage gifts. What was I? A 36-year old man in need of socks? NO! I was kid that didn't have that awesome Legend of Zelda game.

With 3 boxed gifts, it was hard to not imagine that at least one would be something awesome.

I remember, though, thinking that I still needed to keep my expectations in line. I knew that we didn't have a lot of money. The evidence was everywhere.

However, the wonder that Commercial Christmas loves to draw out is hard to resist. I opened my Aunt Doris' gift first because she normally gave me shirts or socks and I figured that she might repeat herself. The worst kind of gifts for kids to be honest is shirts or socks. This year, though, she gave me a jigsaw puzzle. Honestly, for Aunt Doris, that was like her hitting a home run. Amazing Aunt Doris gift. I understand how a 70 year old woman would not know what to get a 10 year old. So a jigsaw puzzle for a kid that liked using his brain was a pretty alright gift. Arguably her best.

Then I moved to my mom. Mom and I never really vibed, so I also had low expectations. That's why I opened hers next. It was also a jigsaw puzzle. Now, you might think that that would be a disappointing gift after Aunt Doris. And it was. A little bit. But honestly, this was also a step up for mom.

Besides, next was dad's boxed gift. That had all the potential. Boxed gift? Dad? Those two factors greatly increased my chances of getting my filthy hands on that wondrous adventure of saving Princess Zelda.

Little did I realize that after I opened mom's gift, my dad was very concerned.

I opened dad's gift. It was another a jigsaw puzzle. I was shattered. I maintained my composure. But my wonder in the idea that maybe I would get the thing I wanted evaporated.

I would be remiss if I did not mention my brother in this story. His gift was the fourth one that Christmas. The reason I opened it last was not that I thought it would be the best, but rather that his wrapping job was something to be desired and it was clear that what he gave me was a thing that he made in industrial arts class that looks like it took its design philosophy from Homer Simpson's car design. If you have no idea what I am referring to, just know that I was bad.

After opening the presents, I gathered them up, feeling so guilty. Because I knew my family gave me the best presents they could. They just couldn't give me what Commercial Christmas was selling.

Before I move on to my next point, I should point out that I did receive my beloved Zelda game. In 1998, when the one of the most anticipated Zelda games of all time ("Legend Zelda: Ocarina of Time") came out in November, I opened it that Christmas. That was the first Christmas without dad, so mom really swung for the fences that year. To her credit, she got me what has been my most favourite gift of all time.

Also, I should point out that I am not good at giving presents. As much as I am complaining about others' gifts to me, my gifts have been usually lacklustre.

The point of this story is pointing to how the capitalist ideal of getting the perfect gift for yourself or for others soured those Christmases of my youth. And I had it good.

This is why quietly and slowly, my appreciation for the spiritual significance of Christmas grew. As a kid, spirituality takes time. It has to soak in. It has be realized on an individualized level. You don't pick up an appreciation because your parents tell you what you need to believe or why faith is beautiful.

However, as my family's financial situation disintegrated the falsehood and destructive nature of Commercial Christmas, my appreciation for the simplistic and vulnerable story of the nativity grew.

I liked getting up at 5am to go to the Christmas morning church service called "Julotta" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julotta). It's the simple metaphor of the darkness of the world being overcome by hope as symbolized by the literal rising of the sun which is perfect for a young adult's brain to wrap around. We'd have a moment in the service that had us standing in a circle with lit candles and singing Christmas hymns. The only light we'd have would be the small flickers of flame and the slow, encompassing light of the dawn that would slowly, but inevitably, flood in through the eastern windows.

Those were some very good Christmases.

I'm going to pivot to talk about Family Christmas. Arguably the most sacred (from a North American culture perspective) kind of Christmas. You go to visit family and spend time with them and participate in those traditions as determined by the unique make up of the given family. This is a time to hopefully strengthen bonds within the family.

I have witnessed several different kinds of family Christmases. Aside from my own family, I have also seen the small collection of the various Christmases of my ex-wife's family, assorted families from different churches I've attended, and those of friends both Christian and atheist.

I know there are people out there who have witnessed more varieties of Christmas than me, but I also know that there are those who have witnessed less.

It is interesting to see so many improvisations on a core idea. There's a meal. There's family. There's gifts. Sometimes, there's prayers and Bible stories. Sometimes there's booze. Sometimes both. The order is different family to family. The rules are different family to family.

The thing that is universal?

Everyone is a little uncomfortable. At least to degrees.

For me, the family aspect of Christmas has been a bit of alienating factor.

In my own family, it was tied in with the gifts of trying to discern what an individual would want. Especially as I grew older and I realized it was essentially a series of contests testing how well you know them versus how well they know you. That's right, I just took another pot shot at Commercial Christmas in the midst of my critique of Family Christmas. Because although I am trying to offer a fresh take on Christmas, Commercial Christmas is, and always will be, the thing that actively destroys the spirit of Christmas. Scrooge is not the worst character in all of the Christmas stories, it is Kirk Cameron in "Saving Christmas".

Family Christmas is admittedly very nice.

If the circumstance happens to work.

If you happen to have a family to start. If you don't have one, Family Christmas hurts far more than Commercial Christmas. Many of you were probably expecting to hear that from the orphan.

It also expands and is worse for individuals whose families reject them for their sexuality or gender identity or mental health issues or addiction issues. Imagine being pushed away by those individuals who are supposed to be on your side during the time of year that culture declares louder than capitalist messages that "Family is the most important thing!"

I can't speak to those other issues.

But I can speak to being without my own physical family.

This was the first year where I was able to articulate to myself why I always feel uncomfortable at other families' Christmases. It's not that the families were not welcoming. It was never that. The people that have invited me over the years have made it very evident that they care for me and that they love me. I have never gotten the sense that they feel obligated.

I do sense the genuine desire of these families to share love with people. I will always be grateful and if I would be in their position, I would ideally be like them in bringing in people and share what I believe to be an important joy of the season.

I want to take a brief moment to underline how difficult this is for me to write about this topic. I never want people to think individuals in a position similar to mine are ungrateful or that it is better to not invite people like me to a Christmas gathering. This whole post is trying to dig into why Christmas is good. To tip the bit, I am saying that just like a Christmas that is centred around Commercialism is not good, neither is one that is centred around Family.

Where the ideallic Family Christmas fails is in the simple fact it cannot be universal. Even as I am welcomed into various spaces and given food and share in wonderful conversation, the feeling that that I am not a part of this family but rather an outsider that has been invited in is unavoidable.
As I witness family interact in the most emotionally vulnerable and open event of the North American calendar, I can't help think about my family. Or lack thereof. Seeing kids gather at the feet of the family leader as they read them the Christmas story seems like a dream taunted in front of me. Seeing a father or mother selflessly make and serve food to their family is hard. It goes on as Family Christmas is a series of traditions held up by a group of people that I happen to visit.

These kind of Christmases are hard because I am outside of it.

The ideal of Family Christmas is great when you have a good, supportive family. If you don't for whatever reason, that ideal is particularly poisonous turning what I think is a potentially rejuvenating time into a hard punch to the spiritual gut.

Now, that I've attacked the other two, it would seem that Christian Christmas is clearly the winner especially for someone like myself who identifies as a Christian. I even had a foreshadow with the whole reference to Julotta!

Well, I'm going to go and turn full Last Jedi on this and dismiss your expectations. That last sentence is very nerdy in two very different ways (in regards to Christianity and Star Wars) and I will try to explain myself to those who don't understand what I'm getting at.

As I've grown older in and have witnessed the impact of American politics on North American Christianity in a broad sense, it hurts as someone who loves the words of Christ. Especially with the undying support of Donald Trump within the evangelical Christian community. This is not meant to be a political post and I won't spend much time here, but it is undeniable how much poison Trump has injected into the North American Christian worldview.

It is hard enough with the warhawk position that America holds throughout most presidencies, but Trump amps up so many disconcerting aspects of American culture that I feel the Christianity of Jesus is being lost in North America and many Christians may not realize it. It seems like if someone perfectly reiterated what Jesus would want, Evangelical Christians would be the first to crucify them.

Backing off the specificality of Trumpian Christianity and coming back to Christmas, the troubling example is the demand that we say "Merry Christmas" over "Happy Holidays" like "Happy Holidays" is blasphemous.

Why it troubles me, is because it seems to miss the heart of Christ. I can't see Jesus getting angry at some retail clerk for saying "Happy Holidays".

Two reasons. First is that Jesus is about inclusion, especially to those who intend good towards others regardless of their belief. The second being that Christmas doesn't happen until December 25th. Before the 25th is Advent, which is a different season of the Christian calendar from Christmas. It would be more appropriate to say "Happy Holidays" to someone before December 25th because it is not Christmas and "Holiday" literally means "Holy day". So regardless of whether you're an atheist or a believer in a different religion or a hardcore Christian, "Happy Holidays" before December 25th is totally appropriate and more accurate. Bonus for those Christians who want to take Jesus' words to heart, you are welcoming all people by saying "Happy Holidays".

To me, that small thing is the perfect example of how Christianity in North America is missing the point.

Christians don't seem to have a problem with a President claiming to be a Christian and yet separating children from their families.

There is so much more, but it would be ridiculous for me to list everthing that a Christian should probably have a problem with the crass, business elite that dominates North American politics but somehow the North American Christianity simply does not.

Boiled down, it seems like Christians have sided with Herod over Mary and Joseph.

At this point, I have cast down the three prominent portrayals of Christmas. The Commercial. The Family. The Christian.

Clearly, I must hate Christmas.

Right?

No.

In fact, I love Christmas more than any other time in my life.

And the main reason is Advent.

Advent is fundamentally important in appreciating Christmas.

Advent has saved Christmas and Christ for me. It definitely was not the moneychanger that is Kirk Cameron. (I know I'm dunking on him a lot and not explaining myself but look, I have to take the precious attention you've given to me and keep this post moving. Maybe I can explain later.)

Advent in the Christian calendar is the four Sundays before Christmas. Advent in the Northern Hemisphere literally takes place in the darkest time of the year. Both literally and figuratively, Advent contemplates the darkness of the world and how is seems to get darker but also how we are to have hope. We are to look towards the hope that the Messiah comes and makes things right.

That no matter how dark things get, all is not lost.

Advent emboldens us to resolutely hold onto the idea that hope, joy, peace, and love are not dead.

It may be dark, but we are not done.

Then, when Christmas Day arrives, which is a day of the week that shifts every year because it is unpredictable when things can change, the world does change. It is less dark than the day before. Days get brighter.

It's a beautiful metaphor.

The story of Christmas and the story of Christ reminds me that God is on the side of those who are less fortunate. The poor. The unfairly imprisoned. The underdogs.

All of this reflection has led me to this conclusion.

I reject the flashy consumerism of the Commercial Christmas. (Although that's an easy one to dunk on.)

I reject the priveleged idea that family is what is important at Christmas, as good of a thing as it maybe. (Also, by the way, go see your family while you have them! Of course, go visit them! Unless, they don't welcome you for who you are, then come look me up and we'll get Chinese food on Christmas day)

I reject the Christian imperialism that comforts the rich and the powerful and that has undermined the vital power of the upside down kingdom where the last shall be first and the first shall be last. Instead, I embrace the holy and welcoming statement of Christ found in Advent that is "Happy Holidays!"

This Christmas and every Christmas after, I look forward to the coming of the Christ that upsets the status quo which I see a little bit day by day. I look forward to the new heaven and the new earth where the words of Jesus remind us: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

"How silently, how silently
The wondrous Gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of His heaven
No ear may hear His coming
But in this world of sin
Where meek souls will receive Him still
- "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

Filliam Crowe Does Not Fit In

As I am writing this, I have a Christian audience in mind, but I really do hope that those who do not ascribe to the Christian faith may find encouragement and support.

Filliam Crowe is a simple man. He is a man out of time, with a look that he thinks is nice, but is out of date. He doesn’t own a cell phone, likely still has dial up for a computer he thought was pretty snazzy desktop from a garage sale. Pentiums are pretty good computers, he hears. He is not the smartest man, but he tries his best to explore and be vulnerable in a world he doesn’t fit into that well.

He is kind and has good intentions, but his clumsy nature gets him into all sorts of troubles. Troubles that can mount far beyond what he can handle.

What I appreciate about the character of Filliam is that no matter how dire it gets, he pushes on and never stops trying to remedy the situation he finds himself in and in the process is never one who harms people along the way.

A lot of the quagmires of Filliam finds himself are ones where he creates them himself but they are never ones that aim to harm people. He is a good natured man that does his best to see the good, encourage the good, and share the good.

Distilled down, Filliam Crowe is a man I want to be. I would rather be a man that bumbles and fumbles his way through spectacular failure on his way to creating a world more lovely than it was.

However, the world is not for the Filliam Crowe’s of the world.

Life is messy, dark, hard, and complicated.

It rewards people who do not care about the consequences that their actions may have on others. Filliam Crowe is a man that is does not function well in the real world and that is what makes him a comedic character. However, if I were ever in the position where people ridicule me and think I am a joke but I get to choose what kind of joke I am, I choose the joke to be that I am Filliam Crowe.

It only seems fitting that this is the Fringe where I introduce the world to the character of Filliam  as I find myself in a position where it can feel like I am being overwhelmed in a manner not unlike Filliam.

This may very well be the most difficult Fringe I have ever walked into. Aside from a rough go financially at the Winnipeg Fringe and the fact that “The Splendiferous Quagmires of Mr Filliam Crowe” is one of the most challenging creative endeavours I have ever taken on (I mean, an improvised physical comedy with no talking and no props is a stacked challenge), I have to deal with a situation that is deeply troubling for me as both a performer and a Christian.

Before I get to that, I need to give you context. I feel like I am stuck between two worlds. Sometimes I feel like I’m religious for my theatre community and yet too heretical for my Christian community. I have thoughts and ideas that I have learned from my two communities that would be so beneficial for the other side, but I sometimes feel like I cannot offer them because they are not welcomed. Whether or not that it is true, I do not know, but that is how I feel.

For the last few years, I have been the president of Sorry, Not Sorry Productions, an improv theatre company that I am proud to be a part of and beyond that to be considered their leader is an immense honour.

My focus has been on creating community and care for each other in the company. It always hurts my heart to see a break down between people and I always seek to repair the situation. Even if it seems impossible. Even when it’s unpopular. However, what I’ve learned in this role, as well as being a leader in church situations that a situation may not be repaired immediately. Maybe not ever.

As a Christian, you should desire the best outcome for everyone, including those who would be considered your enemy. However, you must always ultimately side with those who are mistreated, abused, or downtrodden. The God of Heaven is a God of the Upside Down Kingdom. Where those who are mistreated in this world, are held up in the other.

The situation I have been presented with is one where a person of Edmonton convicted of possessing child pornography two years ago has written a show for the Edmonton Fringe Festival and a local church has supported him and produced this particular show. A festival that my company is a part of. The man’s conviction has been one that has distinctly impacted people who have survived sexual abuse, assault, exploitation. Some of my people had interactions with him before they knew of his transgressions who now have their positive memories (due to his presences as a role model in the theatre community) poisoned by the revelation.

So what is a person like myself to do in this situation?

I am the leader of this group with folks who are deeply (and rightfully) distressed that they are sharing a platform with a man who has distinctly violated the trust of the Edmonton theatre community. I am also a man who believes in the risen Christ who redeems and also makes things right.

What am I to do as a man who is a Christian in a position of leadership in a secular theatrical group?

The answer that was clear to me was that those who are the downtrodden, abused, and mistreated in this world, but yet are justified in the Upside Down kingdom, are the ones that I, as a follower of Christ, should support. They may be mistreated here, but they are protected, restored, and loved in the Upside Down kingdom.

I have been called sanctimonious, despicable and a proponent of McCarthy-like censorship due my response in defending Sorry, Not Sorry’s position that it believes that the man’s show should be not be allowed to be a part of the Edmonton Fringe Festival.

I would like to reiterate, like I did in my interview, that I do not claim to speak for the whole of the Edmonton theatre community or the Edmonton Fringe. I claim to speak on behalf of a group called “Sorry, Not Sorry” who is inside the wider community. It is our right to decry the idea of this show going forward under the banner of the wider Edmonton theatre community due to idea that it makes us, as a group, uncomfortable that one who is convicted of child pornography is sharing our platform. Whether or not others join us or the Edmonton Fringe agrees with us is their decisions. Survivors of sexual violence, abuse, and exploitation need to be supported more than one convicted of a crime that contributes to these violations.

So, what of the man? What do I believe, as a grace-forward Christian, do with a man such as this? A man who has apparently joined with a church who has supported and guided him? A man who may have repented of his ways? A man, and his community, that has pointed to his faith as an option for everyone else to forget his transgressions?

I now need to turn to my understanding of the Christian faith.

The answer for me personally, as a Christian, is that even a sin that may be forgiven by the Lord, does not necessarily mean it should be forgiven in the eyes of the people to the point that the transgressor gets to do everything they used to be able to do. King David was denied the privilege of building the holy temple of God due to the blood he shed in the wars he waged. The Lord proclaimed that it is not right that David should build the temple due to his actions. And David accepted this.

In the same way, maybe David Belke, like his first names’ sake, has to relinquish the idea that he is allowed a voice in the realm of the Edmonton theatre community.

If the church that supports him wants to put on his play because they fully support his return to being a member that has influence on that community, that is their decision to make, but that is not enough to give him the capacity to speak into the wider Edmonton theatre community. This is of course the opinion of one man as a part of a theatre company that supports him inside the wider Edmonton theatre community. However, I know that I and Sorry, Not Sorry Productions are not the only ones. that feel that David Belke’s social debt is paid.

His debt according to the law may be paid, but his social debt to the Edmonton theatre community is not paid in my personal view and he should not be allowed back to the space yet.

So, when can David Belke pay back his social debt? I do not know. Honestly, it may never be paid back. However, if a specific community wants to support Belke’s show, then it will go forward with that support. As a member of the Edmonton theatre community, myself and Sorry, Not Sorry Productions do not, at this time, support Belke’s voice to one that is heard, especially when there are so many marginalized voices struggling to be heard who have not supported an industry such as child pornography.

And this is where, I, as David Rae, the human, wants to speak in a pastoral way. I really hope for redemption for Mr. Belke. I hope he is able to build up others. I hope he is able to be better. I pray for these things. But I fore mostly pray for the healing, restoration, and elevation of those who have been hurt and abused.

May the Upside Down kingdom of Christ be realized where those who are taken advantage of or abused are those who are given prominence and protection and find full restoration. May those who truly repent and leave behind their past and seek redemption find it even if it means they leave behind their prominence.

May those who seek to make this world better find strength.

May those who feel overwhelmed feel supported.

May those who feel like all hope is lost, find not hope but rather full restoration.

May those who hurt find healing.

May those wronged find justice.

May we open up the world to be a place where the Filliam Crowes of our world who live in awe, wonder, and love thrive, overcome and break down the awful traps that destroy people.

P.S. Sorry, Not Sorry Productions is facing an increase in angry rhetoric due to the words I have said in response to this situation in the theatre community and it would be appreciated if you show support by giving us a great review on Facebook or if you come out to our shows at the Edmonton Fringe. The three shows are “The Splendiferous Quagmires of Mr. Filliam Crowe”, “yegDND”, and “Agent Thunder”.

Reviews for the Edmonton Fringe Festival 2019

Since the closure of Vue Weekly here in Edmonton, there has been a deficit in the critical analysis of local theatre. Where can Edmontonians turn to to receive such consistent reviews such as one show receiving both a 0 star review and a 4.5 star review from the same publication. Worry not, for we, here at djracespade.blogspot.com, are ready to give the best critical analysis of some of the acts that will be present at the 2019 Edmonton Fringe Festival.

Vue Weekly prided itself in producing reviews after the first show of a given Fringe production. djracespade.blogspot.com holds itself to a higher standard by producing reviews of shows based entirely on past experience and the subjective prejudiced perspective of the idea of a show in order to give you, the valued reader, the most immediate reviews possible.

These reviews have been chosen due to their presence on the June 19th, 2019 edition of Odd Wednesday.

Nuiboi

Nuiboi pushes the boundaries of artistic expression, using delightful costumes, subversive messaging, and an expressive intention that seeks to touch you in the heart and evolve your mind. They encourage their fellow humans to be better and if you dare question their message about the importance of the finding a more humane humanity, I will fucking cut you. With a knife or a sword or a broken piece of my beer glass that I dropped as I openly sobbed over the hollow state of our humanity that Nuiboi succinctly critiques of our collective soul, unlike that hack of a band from the 90's. If you are unwilling to concede that Nuiboi's message should transform us into a more loving people, then you better start training at the gym, because I am loading up on steroids and hiding all sorts of illegal weapons on my being and formally challenging you to a duel to the death in the caged fighting pit I've set up in my backyard specifically designed to challenge, punish, and destroy critics of Nuiboi's brilliance and message of love.

7 Jesuses out of 7. Or Jesi if you have more of a background in Latin.


Merk Deux Soleil

Rebecca Merkley is a modern day, less assholeish version of Andy Kaufman, upsetting the applecart of traditional comedy and she successfully points out the flaw in human pride. Merkley and her Merk Deux Soleil has cornered the market of joy. Always smiling and always laughing, she is a person that is explicitly and viciously happy. She exudes the best qualities of life. You can't be sad around her or Berk Deux Soleil because she is like a reverse vampire where she bites into the neck of negativity and drains the cynicism and drains negativity from the audience and instead infects them with a curse of abundant joy and the audience is now a thrall to her will. Rebecca Merkley is now the dictator that dismisses the hopelessness and fear of the future, replacing it with an unending thirst for life.

Plelve clowns out of 9 circus tents.


Don't Not Talk to Strangers

What can I say? Don't tell people to not unavoid watching Don't Not Talk to Strangers because they will not be unimpressed. It is impossible to not overunderestimate their not unincredible talent because they don't not never fail to oversurpass your nigh impossible standards of comedy. Their style is very easily not inaccessible, very much not unlike this reviews fails to be. These are 7 strangers who do not feel like strangers but rather are more like the family I never visit ever since the fallout of them dying. (It's fine. I've gotten over it.)

15 candies out of 9 strangers.


The Debutantes Present: My Mistake

Readers of my reviews would likely expect that I would give a series of glowing reviews to all the acts tonight and then give a hilariously, aggressively antagonistic review to my own group for the larfs because that's where you assume I would put the twist. Well, if that's the case, fuck you! I'm a professional. I give all shows the same fair judgment to all shows I review regardless of my presence in them.

The Debutantes have ascended above the realms of humanity and gods; even the God of Abraham and David. The Debutantes, sometimes known as "The Debs", have once again embraced the heavenly bliss of God's love and acceptance as His chosen comedians. They cannot do any wrong. Their writing, delivery, direction all have made the angels cum with desire and the devils piss their pants in fear of the comedy they invoke.

The only exception to this is David Rae, who was only in charge of saying two simple lines. You may think that since this is a comedic review that I would dunk on myself, but guess again, fucktoid! Because despite his faulty memory, crippling anxiety, and crushing depression, he was able to present the rawness and vulnerability of humanity that can only be found in barely doing the minimum to rehearse.

The Debutantes get 9 boners out of 9 boners.


- David Rae
Reviewer for djracespade.blogspot.com

The Better Men

My life currently consists of a lot of shows. In particular, it was sketch and improv, which has me presenting a lot of characters. I’m always hoping to have a wide variety of characters so that it’s easier to cast me in all sorts of roles. However, I realized a curious happenstance as I reflected on three characters that I have been sharing to promote my current shows.

The three characters are strikingly similar. They share a lot of similarities and the small differences between them are also telling.

For me, when I am having to create a new character for a show or even something like playing Dungeons & Dragons, I may consider a few options, but the ones I feel strongest about and wind up doing are usually connected to thoughts, ideas, and reflections I’ve been chewing over in my life. They are characters that are not that far removed from me in ideals and even characters that I wish I was more like.

That’s why the similarities and shared traits of the characters struck me. Especially since I did not plan on them lining up to be scheduled in shows so closely together like this, but now that they have, it has me thinking about where I find myself right now.

This past year at yegDND, I’ve been playing a character named Clarence Smoot, a simple man who is based loosely on my brother and especially the traits I most admired about him. He is not really a capable adventurer, but rather out of a sense of duty to where needs are, he answers the call to step up. He’s almost like a biblical character in that he may be considered to be a weak choice by others but due to this faithfulness to doing what’s right, he may have an impact and make the world a better place. Maybe he’s overwhelmed by the situation, but the purity of his heart and his kindness in the face of it all, is what makes him admirable.

When we were working on doing a special marathon show for yegDND, it was offered that we could bring back a character from the past that we really enjoyed. I immediately thought of Ziggy. He’s a frost giant child who happens to be 6’4” and is strong as a bull, but naive like a child with wonder in his eyes. He wants to make the world better and become a hero. He has overly simplistic view of how the world works and has an undying hope in the idea that bad situations can be made better. He sees the good in things and loves discovering new things and believes that he can do anything. He is always welcoming to people even if they secretly mean to take advantage of his strength for their own means.

Finally, this summer, I am doing a one-person show where I will be doing a physical comedy that involves little to no talking of a character, named Filliam Crowe, who is wracked with social anxiety, but a desire to embrace life in its fullness and trying to do things to the best of his ability and fumbling and bumbling his way through it. The situation will get more and more out of hand as he tries to stay on top of it all until it turns into a full blown disaster. Throughout all of this, he is fuelled by an undying optimism no matter how much it gets out of hand. He may moments of defeat, but the idea that tomorrow is a new day keeps him from staying in defeat.

You can see why it struck me. It feels like I talked about the same character three different ways. They are different from each other in enough ways that makes watching the three characters a different experience.

Clarence has an awareness of his lack of talent as an adventurer, which makes his choice to be one who tries to be an adventurer admirable. He goes not because he believes that he will survive necessarily, but because someone has to do something about the woes of the world and maybe he can.

Ziggy is gullible and is simply unable to grasp the idea that people would lie to him. He trusts others implicitly and explicitly. He believes that the world can change.

Filliam is not trying to save the world, he just doesn’t want life to pass him by. He doesn’t want to miss opportunities to love, to experience, and to understand.

It’s that shared trait of eternal optimism that I desire the most. The idea that despite how bad things are (And they are. They are really bad in this world) that it is not over and regardless of how incapable that I may be to make things better, maybe my faithfulness to doing my best is rewarded. Not to me necessarily, (although if that is in the cards as well, awesome!) but rather this world is made better.

I feel like a lot of losses have come my way personally and I’ve done my best to do what is right but my optimism and drive to keep pushing for a better world is taking the hit. Especially when, in outside of my life, it seems like a callousness to other people continually seems to win. A leader can declare that the most vulnerable people are a threat and must be treated like animals or subhuman and they win elections or continued support.

It’s the thing that separates me from my three favourite characters that I’ve created is this knowledge that the worst parts of humanity currently have the upper hand and that I personally am playing short-handed. I am having a tough time maintaining optimism in the face of it.

I think that’s why the characters I’ve been drawn to to play are optimistic and the pinnacle of genuine hope and kind action. These characters are a part of my personal mythology that inspire me to still be as kind and hopeful as I can be. It is true that all the world’s problems are overwhelming and impossible to overcome by one individual, but at the very least, I have done my part to do the best an individual can in the face of it. Not inspired by the fear of hell, but rather by the love for this broken world.

This all brings me back to the world of Psalms. The Psalms are the poetry and song book of the Bible.

The idea that there are people who seem to go unstopped for their greed and vindictiveness was a thing that my own namesake raged against in these ancient texts. David was furious that people who abuse the poor and flagrantly flaunt their selfish ways go unpunished and it all boils him up.

David is often overwhelmed by the injustice of it all. He knows it because he has been on the run from the man who has power over the land and he wants to kill David.

David often feels like he is unable to stop it. And he was even king during some of these Psalms!

However, regardless of his position and social status, he came back to the idea that he would be faithful to what is right because that is what is required of us. We may not be able to stop the power of our enemies and those who do wrong to those most vulnerable, but we actually do not know for sure what could make the difference. It may be something small and because we are faithful, then those small moments may be what matters.

It should be pointed out that David was also, at times, a selfish man. He did things that were awful and shortsighted. He was willing to kill a man in order to preserve the perception of his righteousness. He is one of the best examples of a person who has high-minded ideals and can be a paragon of faithfulness and perseverance and yet is susceptible to making awful mistakes.

He is not Clarence or Ziggy or Filliam.

He is more selfish.

He is more realistic.

It makes sense that I am more like King David than those three characters I created. A man who was given so much by God and was one that made decisions that hurt people.

I will continue to pursue being more like Clarence, Ziggy, and Filliam, because it is people like that that love people more and make this world a better place. It is not the self-righteous who thinks they are morally better who necessarily make it better for others.

I should mention that one of the traits that I admire in the character of King David is his ability to realize his mistakes and his drive to make things right.

I would like to think I share that trait and it propels me to be more like those three characters and it will me to be remembered like Clarence or Ziggy or Filliam would be. An inspiring, kind optimist who loves unconditionally and truly makes the world better.

“I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah.”

- “Hallelujah” from the Leonard Cohen album “Various Positions”