Monday, February 27, 2006

Restaurant Review

My trip to a certain restaurant (I was certain it was a restaurant) was a time where I ate food. And if I could describe the taste of the food, I would have to describe it as "unidentifiable" because although the food was there in front of me (I saw it) I was unable to place what I was "tasting" with my "taste buds". It was a dessert, for I ordered it off the dessert menu, however, I did not look at it was called so I had no idea what it was supposed to be. I looked at an it seemed to be topped with some sort of "fruity gelatinous film" but as I tasted it, I could not decide if it was raspberry or strawberry. The person with whom I shared it with said she believed it was "caramel", which really only confused more as I tasted it. The lighting in the "restaurant" made it difficult to examine what it was. If you want to eat food, but you want to know what you are eating, I would avoid this place, unless you learn how to read. So that's why I'm summing up my experience at the restaurant as "not very obvious" as opposed "more obvious".

Friday, February 24, 2006

Lousy, Good For Nothing, Know Nothing, Free Loading Infants

I don't hate children. I don't know where that came from. I really don't. It's just that a lot of my friends and other people I know are starting to have children. And I think that's, uh, rude. I mean I use to hang out with all these people and now they have babies.

I mean, we used to be friends. C'mon. I've been drooling all over myself for the past 23 years. Why do these rookies get the spotlight? I can put together coherent sentences and know how to manage a bank account. What do these kids got? Nothing. Nothing, people.

Some would argue that they are cute. I thought that we as a people were trying to move away from this idealistic Hollywood-sponsored movement of "cuteness" and start hanging out with people based on what they have on the inside. And I have a lot more insides than these "babies" who are doing nothing for our society but freeloading along. I mean I've known so many babies that don't bring in any income and who has to pay for their food and their living expenses. Their parents! I mean if I told my roommate to buy all my food and pay for all the rent and for my student loans, I'd be kicked out so fast. I mean I should know. I'm writing this on a laptop that I borrowed (stole) since Wednesday.

I try to break into this acting business and here I am being beat out for parts by babies for diaper commercials! C'mon, I look way better in those diapers. Lousy, good for nothing, know nothing, free loading infants.

Monday, February 20, 2006

A Musical About Cats is Our Best Piece of Work That Shows Our Moral Integrity?

I'm tired of people always saying that North American culture is devoid of meaning and that the increase of sex and violence in our media is a good sign of the coming downfall of our society and soon a different society will be the powerhouse. Sure there's plenty of examples from the Greeks and the Romans and the English and the French and the Germans. And sure maybe there's plenty of completely unnecessary forms of entertainment that do nothing but feed into primal, carnal desires of debauchery and violence such as Bumfights and Jackass and most if not all kinds of gangsta rap and Survivor and professional wrestling and Doom (both the video game and a lesser extent the movie) and Dane Cook and monster truck rallies and Simple Life (all seasons and pretty much anything Paris Hilton condones) and phone sexlines and Bob Sagat. And sure there may be numerous attacks on the sense of moral responsibility and the over-glorification of freedom and political correctness which has helped led many of the inhabitants of Africa to be hungry and often to be under the threat of war. And sure we're involved with many self-destructive behaviours like the destroying the ozone layer and ever dwindling energy supply and numerous gun crimes and still much ingrained racism through out a lot of parts and the center of the pornography industry and growing anti-intellectualism prevalent in our society. But all these nay-sayers and cynical Sids have conveniently overlooked the fact that North American culture still has one piece of culture that holds up throughout the test of time that shows that we are still good-intentioned and have a continuing hope to be the beacon the others will follow and of course I'm referring to the beautifully inspired story of the Mario Brothers. The fact that these simple plumbers from New York would go forth and push themselves to jump numerous times their height, fighting off the turtle demons of the Koopa kingdom merely for the safe return of one woman. That's an example of honour and bravery and love that shall be passed - wait a second... Mario Brothers was made in Japan. Oh sweet bastard! What the hell do we have?... Cats... you mean the musical...Oh come on! A musical about cats is our best piece of work that shows our moral integrity? It's about nothing. Nothing. We're dust. Just give the crown to Japan already. They're the ones with Mario Brothers! I'm going to irrationally drop everything in life and move there right now! Who's with me!?

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Maybe I Should Start Getting Inspiration From Family Circus

I've officially transferred all of my blog entries from my previous blogging area, so for all those who would have never seen my inspired blog entries before, now you have a chance. And really, when I say inspired, I mean the time in my life when I had something new to say as opposed to now when I've finally had to realize that my humour is lacking and one dimensional. Like Jeff Foxworthy. But alas I will not give up. I will put on a smile and keep trying. Maybe I should start getting inspiration from Family Circus. You never know what Jeffy will do next!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I'm Pretty Sure Seeing a Dog with Three Legs and is Three Quarters Deaf Would Be Sadder

So with the help of Mr. David Colvinsonington, I've been relocated to this location for my blog. I'm glad he's plugging me on his blogging area. On his February 14th blog entry, he has this sweet graphic thing to advertise the Third Wheel Convention that I held on my birthday.

Yeah, there's nothing sadder than being born on Valentine's Day, being left out and then be the key note speaker at a Third Wheel Convention that you created because you knew nobody would actually go to your real birthday party. Well, I'm pretty sure seeing a dog with three legs and is three quarters deaf would be sadder. Or may a lone piece of pizza lying at the side of the road. That'd be pretty sad.

Anyways, the need for the convention is simply that the old adage "bros before ho's" goes right out the window on Valentine's Day. And from my thorough research into the topic, I'm pretty sure that the "bros before ho's" was probably coined by a third wheel who was trying to convince his friend to ditch the girlfriend and he figured that if it flowed then it has to be true.

However, there was a small turnout which is better than expected (no turnout) and I gave a rousing speech about third wheels and then watched Shrek, because after all, Donkey is a great example of a third wheel. Then I realized I just turned twenty-three, watching an animated cartoon and analyzing the aspects of third wheelism knowing that when I get home I would gently cry myself to sleep.