As I am writing this, I have a Christian audience in mind, but I really do hope that those who do not ascribe to the Christian faith may find encouragement and support.
Filliam Crowe is a simple man. He is a man out of time, with a look that he thinks is nice, but is out of date. He doesn’t own a cell phone, likely still has dial up for a computer he thought was pretty snazzy desktop from a garage sale. Pentiums are pretty good computers, he hears. He is not the smartest man, but he tries his best to explore and be vulnerable in a world he doesn’t fit into that well.
He is kind and has good intentions, but his clumsy nature gets him into all sorts of troubles. Troubles that can mount far beyond what he can handle.
What I appreciate about the character of Filliam is that no matter how dire it gets, he pushes on and never stops trying to remedy the situation he finds himself in and in the process is never one who harms people along the way.
A lot of the quagmires of Filliam finds himself are ones where he creates them himself but they are never ones that aim to harm people. He is a good natured man that does his best to see the good, encourage the good, and share the good.
Distilled down, Filliam Crowe is a man I want to be. I would rather be a man that bumbles and fumbles his way through spectacular failure on his way to creating a world more lovely than it was.
However, the world is not for the Filliam Crowe’s of the world.
Life is messy, dark, hard, and complicated.
It rewards people who do not care about the consequences that their actions may have on others. Filliam Crowe is a man that is does not function well in the real world and that is what makes him a comedic character. However, if I were ever in the position where people ridicule me and think I am a joke but I get to choose what kind of joke I am, I choose the joke to be that I am Filliam Crowe.
Filliam Crowe is a simple man. He is a man out of time, with a look that he thinks is nice, but is out of date. He doesn’t own a cell phone, likely still has dial up for a computer he thought was pretty snazzy desktop from a garage sale. Pentiums are pretty good computers, he hears. He is not the smartest man, but he tries his best to explore and be vulnerable in a world he doesn’t fit into that well.
He is kind and has good intentions, but his clumsy nature gets him into all sorts of troubles. Troubles that can mount far beyond what he can handle.
What I appreciate about the character of Filliam is that no matter how dire it gets, he pushes on and never stops trying to remedy the situation he finds himself in and in the process is never one who harms people along the way.
A lot of the quagmires of Filliam finds himself are ones where he creates them himself but they are never ones that aim to harm people. He is a good natured man that does his best to see the good, encourage the good, and share the good.
Distilled down, Filliam Crowe is a man I want to be. I would rather be a man that bumbles and fumbles his way through spectacular failure on his way to creating a world more lovely than it was.
However, the world is not for the Filliam Crowe’s of the world.
Life is messy, dark, hard, and complicated.
It rewards people who do not care about the consequences that their actions may have on others. Filliam Crowe is a man that is does not function well in the real world and that is what makes him a comedic character. However, if I were ever in the position where people ridicule me and think I am a joke but I get to choose what kind of joke I am, I choose the joke to be that I am Filliam Crowe.
It only seems fitting that this is the Fringe where I introduce the world to the character of Filliam as I find myself in a position where it can feel like I am being overwhelmed in a manner not unlike Filliam.
This may very well be the most difficult Fringe I have ever walked into. Aside from a rough go financially at the Winnipeg Fringe and the fact that “The Splendiferous Quagmires of Mr Filliam Crowe” is one of the most challenging creative endeavours I have ever taken on (I mean, an improvised physical comedy with no talking and no props is a stacked challenge), I have to deal with a situation that is deeply troubling for me as both a performer and a Christian.
Before I get to that, I need to give you context. I feel like I am stuck between two worlds. Sometimes I feel like I’m religious for my theatre community and yet too heretical for my Christian community. I have thoughts and ideas that I have learned from my two communities that would be so beneficial for the other side, but I sometimes feel like I cannot offer them because they are not welcomed. Whether or not that it is true, I do not know, but that is how I feel.
For the last few years, I have been the president of Sorry, Not Sorry Productions, an improv theatre company that I am proud to be a part of and beyond that to be considered their leader is an immense honour.
My focus has been on creating community and care for each other in the company. It always hurts my heart to see a break down between people and I always seek to repair the situation. Even if it seems impossible. Even when it’s unpopular. However, what I’ve learned in this role, as well as being a leader in church situations that a situation may not be repaired immediately. Maybe not ever.
As a Christian, you should desire the best outcome for everyone, including those who would be considered your enemy. However, you must always ultimately side with those who are mistreated, abused, or downtrodden. The God of Heaven is a God of the Upside Down Kingdom. Where those who are mistreated in this world, are held up in the other.
This may very well be the most difficult Fringe I have ever walked into. Aside from a rough go financially at the Winnipeg Fringe and the fact that “The Splendiferous Quagmires of Mr Filliam Crowe” is one of the most challenging creative endeavours I have ever taken on (I mean, an improvised physical comedy with no talking and no props is a stacked challenge), I have to deal with a situation that is deeply troubling for me as both a performer and a Christian.
Before I get to that, I need to give you context. I feel like I am stuck between two worlds. Sometimes I feel like I’m religious for my theatre community and yet too heretical for my Christian community. I have thoughts and ideas that I have learned from my two communities that would be so beneficial for the other side, but I sometimes feel like I cannot offer them because they are not welcomed. Whether or not that it is true, I do not know, but that is how I feel.
For the last few years, I have been the president of Sorry, Not Sorry Productions, an improv theatre company that I am proud to be a part of and beyond that to be considered their leader is an immense honour.
My focus has been on creating community and care for each other in the company. It always hurts my heart to see a break down between people and I always seek to repair the situation. Even if it seems impossible. Even when it’s unpopular. However, what I’ve learned in this role, as well as being a leader in church situations that a situation may not be repaired immediately. Maybe not ever.
As a Christian, you should desire the best outcome for everyone, including those who would be considered your enemy. However, you must always ultimately side with those who are mistreated, abused, or downtrodden. The God of Heaven is a God of the Upside Down Kingdom. Where those who are mistreated in this world, are held up in the other.
The situation I have been presented with is one where a person of Edmonton convicted of possessing child pornography two years ago has written a show for the Edmonton Fringe Festival and a local church has supported him and produced this particular show. A festival that my company is a part of. The man’s conviction has been one that has distinctly impacted people who have survived sexual abuse, assault, exploitation. Some of my people had interactions with him before they knew of his transgressions who now have their positive memories (due to his presences as a role model in the theatre community) poisoned by the revelation.
So what is a person like myself to do in this situation?
I am the leader of this group with folks who are deeply (and rightfully) distressed that they are sharing a platform with a man who has distinctly violated the trust of the Edmonton theatre community. I am also a man who believes in the risen Christ who redeems and also makes things right.
What am I to do as a man who is a Christian in a position of leadership in a secular theatrical group?
The answer that was clear to me was that those who are the downtrodden, abused, and mistreated in this world, but yet are justified in the Upside Down kingdom, are the ones that I, as a follower of Christ, should support. They may be mistreated here, but they are protected, restored, and loved in the Upside Down kingdom.
I have been called sanctimonious, despicable and a proponent of McCarthy-like censorship due my response in defending Sorry, Not Sorry’s position that it believes that the man’s show should be not be allowed to be a part of the Edmonton Fringe Festival.
I would like to reiterate, like I did in my interview, that I do not claim to speak for the whole of the Edmonton theatre community or the Edmonton Fringe. I claim to speak on behalf of a group called “Sorry, Not Sorry” who is inside the wider community. It is our right to decry the idea of this show going forward under the banner of the wider Edmonton theatre community due to idea that it makes us, as a group, uncomfortable that one who is convicted of child pornography is sharing our platform. Whether or not others join us or the Edmonton Fringe agrees with us is their decisions. Survivors of sexual violence, abuse, and exploitation need to be supported more than one convicted of a crime that contributes to these violations.
So, what of the man? What do I believe, as a grace-forward Christian, do with a man such as this? A man who has apparently joined with a church who has supported and guided him? A man who may have repented of his ways? A man, and his community, that has pointed to his faith as an option for everyone else to forget his transgressions?
So what is a person like myself to do in this situation?
I am the leader of this group with folks who are deeply (and rightfully) distressed that they are sharing a platform with a man who has distinctly violated the trust of the Edmonton theatre community. I am also a man who believes in the risen Christ who redeems and also makes things right.
What am I to do as a man who is a Christian in a position of leadership in a secular theatrical group?
The answer that was clear to me was that those who are the downtrodden, abused, and mistreated in this world, but yet are justified in the Upside Down kingdom, are the ones that I, as a follower of Christ, should support. They may be mistreated here, but they are protected, restored, and loved in the Upside Down kingdom.
I have been called sanctimonious, despicable and a proponent of McCarthy-like censorship due my response in defending Sorry, Not Sorry’s position that it believes that the man’s show should be not be allowed to be a part of the Edmonton Fringe Festival.
I would like to reiterate, like I did in my interview, that I do not claim to speak for the whole of the Edmonton theatre community or the Edmonton Fringe. I claim to speak on behalf of a group called “Sorry, Not Sorry” who is inside the wider community. It is our right to decry the idea of this show going forward under the banner of the wider Edmonton theatre community due to idea that it makes us, as a group, uncomfortable that one who is convicted of child pornography is sharing our platform. Whether or not others join us or the Edmonton Fringe agrees with us is their decisions. Survivors of sexual violence, abuse, and exploitation need to be supported more than one convicted of a crime that contributes to these violations.
So, what of the man? What do I believe, as a grace-forward Christian, do with a man such as this? A man who has apparently joined with a church who has supported and guided him? A man who may have repented of his ways? A man, and his community, that has pointed to his faith as an option for everyone else to forget his transgressions?
I now need to turn to my understanding of the Christian faith.
The answer for me personally, as a Christian, is that even a sin that may be forgiven by the Lord, does not necessarily mean it should be forgiven in the eyes of the people to the point that the transgressor gets to do everything they used to be able to do. King David was denied the privilege of building the holy temple of God due to the blood he shed in the wars he waged. The Lord proclaimed that it is not right that David should build the temple due to his actions. And David accepted this.
In the same way, maybe David Belke, like his first names’ sake, has to relinquish the idea that he is allowed a voice in the realm of the Edmonton theatre community.
The answer for me personally, as a Christian, is that even a sin that may be forgiven by the Lord, does not necessarily mean it should be forgiven in the eyes of the people to the point that the transgressor gets to do everything they used to be able to do. King David was denied the privilege of building the holy temple of God due to the blood he shed in the wars he waged. The Lord proclaimed that it is not right that David should build the temple due to his actions. And David accepted this.
In the same way, maybe David Belke, like his first names’ sake, has to relinquish the idea that he is allowed a voice in the realm of the Edmonton theatre community.
If the church that supports him wants to put on his play because they fully support his return to being a member that has influence on that community, that is their decision to make, but that is not enough to give him the capacity to speak into the wider Edmonton theatre community. This is of course the opinion of one man as a part of a theatre company that supports him inside the wider Edmonton theatre community. However, I know that I and Sorry, Not Sorry Productions are not the only ones. that feel that David Belke’s social debt is paid.
His debt according to the law may be paid, but his social debt to the Edmonton theatre community is not paid in my personal view and he should not be allowed back to the space yet.
So, when can David Belke pay back his social debt? I do not know. Honestly, it may never be paid back. However, if a specific community wants to support Belke’s show, then it will go forward with that support. As a member of the Edmonton theatre community, myself and Sorry, Not Sorry Productions do not, at this time, support Belke’s voice to one that is heard, especially when there are so many marginalized voices struggling to be heard who have not supported an industry such as child pornography.
And this is where, I, as David Rae, the human, wants to speak in a pastoral way. I really hope for redemption for Mr. Belke. I hope he is able to build up others. I hope he is able to be better. I pray for these things. But I fore mostly pray for the healing, restoration, and elevation of those who have been hurt and abused.
May the Upside Down kingdom of Christ be realized where those who are taken advantage of or abused are those who are given prominence and protection and find full restoration. May those who truly repent and leave behind their past and seek redemption find it even if it means they leave behind their prominence.
May those who seek to make this world better find strength.
May those who feel overwhelmed feel supported.
May those who feel like all hope is lost, find not hope but rather full restoration.
May those who hurt find healing.
His debt according to the law may be paid, but his social debt to the Edmonton theatre community is not paid in my personal view and he should not be allowed back to the space yet.
So, when can David Belke pay back his social debt? I do not know. Honestly, it may never be paid back. However, if a specific community wants to support Belke’s show, then it will go forward with that support. As a member of the Edmonton theatre community, myself and Sorry, Not Sorry Productions do not, at this time, support Belke’s voice to one that is heard, especially when there are so many marginalized voices struggling to be heard who have not supported an industry such as child pornography.
And this is where, I, as David Rae, the human, wants to speak in a pastoral way. I really hope for redemption for Mr. Belke. I hope he is able to build up others. I hope he is able to be better. I pray for these things. But I fore mostly pray for the healing, restoration, and elevation of those who have been hurt and abused.
May the Upside Down kingdom of Christ be realized where those who are taken advantage of or abused are those who are given prominence and protection and find full restoration. May those who truly repent and leave behind their past and seek redemption find it even if it means they leave behind their prominence.
May those who seek to make this world better find strength.
May those who feel overwhelmed feel supported.
May those who feel like all hope is lost, find not hope but rather full restoration.
May those who hurt find healing.
May those wronged find justice.
May we open up the world to be a place where the Filliam Crowes of our world who live in awe, wonder, and love thrive, overcome and break down the awful traps that destroy people.
P.S. Sorry, Not Sorry Productions is facing an increase in angry rhetoric due to the words I have said in response to this situation in the theatre community and it would be appreciated if you show support by giving us a great review on Facebook or if you come out to our shows at the Edmonton Fringe. The three shows are “The Splendiferous Quagmires of Mr. Filliam Crowe”, “yegDND”, and “Agent Thunder”.
