A Love Affair in the Fact That I Write Letters to Him and Then I Dress Up Like Him

I recently checked up on the website of Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, the guys who created Mr. Show. On it, David Cross put up a letter that he wrote to Larry the Cable Guy in response to Larry’s comment about something that Cross said in Rolling Stone about Larry’s stand-up bit and audience. (I know, it’s confusing, but wait to the part when Cross goes back in time and there’s two David Crosses getting into all sorts of mayhem) Anyway, Larry took offense at the fact that Cross that called Larry’s crowd a bunch of redneck idiots or something like that and that Cross has no idea what he’s talking about.

Cross then uses this letter to defend every single comment he said in the Rolling Stone article, including the part where he called Larry a racist and then goes on to draw out three outrageous quotes from Larry’s book that proves the point. It was hilarious especially if you appreciate Cross’ style of edgy humour.

This is the thing with my secret love affair with David Cross (secret in the fact that only I know about it and it's a love affair in the fact that I write letters to David Cross and then I dress up like him and pretend to answer them) even though we would disagree on several points, we do have the same sensitivity to the glorification of dumb. That’s why I can look past a lot of the inflammatory things those guys say and laugh because there is thought behind it and not a string of fart jokes (Larry the Cable Guy).

After I read the article by Cross I figured I’d give Larry a chance and the first thing I see when I go to the official “Git-r-done” website is a Christmas decoration made out of Christmas lights that depict a reindeer being hung upside down with red lights acting as the blood dripping from its head onto the ground. Classy. I didn’t have to read anything. I thing the picture defended just right. Cross had no right saying that only rednecks would appreciate Larry the Cable Guy. Who wouldn’t want a guy who’s “line” is “git-r-done”? Nothing redneck about that.

If you want to check out the letter by Cross, go to: http://www.bobanddavid.com/david.asp?artId=183

It May Not Work, But I Thought I'd Give It a Shot...And Oh, I Like Crack

Apparently Microsoft is still conducting their beta tests by tracking e-mails and sending cheques to the individuals who forward a dumb mass e-mail that says "It's true, I saw it on the news!" How does this make any sense! I've personally received the very same e-mail four times in the last few years and no one has pieced it together that this thing is bogus! I mean, very intelligent people have sent me this thing and the only thing this letter does is prove how you didn't think about it at all.

For one, why would any company just give thousands of dollars to annoymous individuals across the world for a lousy e-mail. I mean, they could do this internally to test whatever it is that they would want to test. That way, they wouldn't get gullible idiots who don't know what the basics of computer programming involves.

Second, why would this e-mail so unofficial. Shouldn't something like a test from Microsoft that involves money have a subject that says "Microsoft Officially Invites You for Participation in a Program Test" and not "It may not work, but I thought I'd give it a shot...and oh, I like crack".

Thirdly, why they even test an e-mail for Rosencratz' sake! They know it works. It works fine. Even the most computer illiterate can learn it. Even the fools that fall for this trick can use it.

This is the reason that humanity will fall apart in a fiery wreck because it will be these people that perpetuate this insult of humanity who will elect the next Napoleon.