Vomity Milk-Water

Through out my summer I have been to many people's houses and I have seen a shocking trend. There seems to be a proliferation of people buying skim milk. Who are these people and why would you ever do something to yourself like that. It is like watered down milk that a dog has vomited back into a plastic jug and then the dog learns how to write milk on the side of the carton and sell it to me while removes vertabrae from my back and using it as poker chips and poses with those other smug mutts from that dog playing poker picture. I mean don't these dogs have something better to do than puking milk-water. Especially the ones that can write. I mean they can be writing about something else, something that the world needs. Something like the warning signs that need to be placed outside of these fricking skim milk displays. Sweet mother! How can anybody seriously drink that crap and not have me irrationally bashing them from a far on some lousy blog that only a select group of people would ever read for goodness sake and those people are the ones that can only somewhat tolerate me and my half-witted rambling about sweet merciful milk when I really should be talking about the true crimes in the world like racism and civil wars and the price of gas! I can't talk about those other things, because there are fricking morons out there drinking this dog vomity milk water. They are out there thinking that they somehow staying healthy, then go out and drink their lattes and wear their designer suits and read glamour magazines and then come up to me and ridicule me for drinking homogenized milk. Oh yeah, well you look like a chotch, man! You think you've got it together? Puh-lease, you wouldn't know! So go ahead and live the grand life and drink your crap-cream and drive around in your SUV, but I will continue to live in the true luxury of the silky delicious creme of the gods and keep fighting for the rights of dogs that can write. All this skim milk talk just gets me riled up and makes me make irrational arguements about absolutely nothing. And how can you help me? Have the decency to not buy skim milk when I go over to your place, you ungrateful beggar! Puh-lease!