That Feels Good

I have one more camp to go here on the Camp Ministry Team. I am a bit tired and have been sick for the last few weeks with a few different colds. My back is scraped up and my clothes in the laundry getting rid of the caked-on mud from last night's game of "Fugitive". My voice is shot and my ability to yell a mighty yell is affected by the constant threat of cracking.

I feel alive.

This is a good kind of tired, beat up and sick. I feel like I am actually doing something and I am still having fun. I am truly going to miss this summer despite it's trials of various sorts. However, there is an exciting, new adventure on the horizon.

As it stands right now, I am moving to Nelson, British Columbia in a couple of months to do the internship I mentioned in my previous post. The details of exactly what my expectations are not fully ironed out, but my conversation with Pastor Arden gives me a lot of confidence that we are on the same page. I am looking forward to getting to perform regularly and working on various video projects and youth group events.

One thing I know I am going to miss are the people in Winnipeg. I have been there for essentially eight years and it will be a little sad to leave them. At this point I don't think that it will be forever, but you never know. This may be the start of a life on the road.

It's very strange to be where I am right now. I feel good and happy for the most part and I kind of don't know what to do with it. It has been a lot longer than people realize since I have been this content. There's still question marks in my future and I still have a hard time with the idea of whether or not that I am "living up to my potential" but I feel like I have found where I can help and excel doing something worthwhile.

I am thankful for how God has been leading me out of the valley of the shadow of death and I hope that I can do what I am supposed to do.


"The world awaits just up the stairs
Leave the pain for someone else
Nothing back there for you to find
Or was it you you left behind?
You're always saying you're too weak to be strong
You're harder on yourself than just about anyone
Why swim the channel just to get this far?
Halfway there, why would you turn around?
Darkness comes in waves...tell me,
Why invite it to stay?

You're one with negativity
Yes, comfort is an energy
But why let the sad song play?

I have faced it, a life wasted
I'm never going back again
Oh I escaped it, a life wasted
I'm never going back again
Haven't tasted, a life wasted
I'm never going back again
Oh i erased it, a life wasted
I'm never going back again"

- Pearl Jam's "Life Wasted" from their self-titled album