Hatred of Villains

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on the sadness I felt in regards to the treatment of celebrities. I feel that culture has a terrible tendency to either idolize or demonize individuals on the basis of a mere like or dislike of their art. I think it doesn't take much to admonish each other to give these folks a certain amount of humanity. They are nether worthy of worship or dehumanization. To me, it is a mere overlook of a basic understanding that humans deserve no more and no less respect than other humans.

However, I want to address something that is perhaps more difficult for an individual to concede. We all have our own villains in our lives. Some are minor villains like those of the snotty kid at school who teases us for the clothes we wear or this could be the man who commits monstrous crimes on fellow humans. For each of us, the villains are different, look different and could be the heroes of others. Perhaps they rightfully deserve the title of "monster". This is where hatred seems like it would most belong. We're supposed to hate villains.

Perhaps our villains are sorry. Perhaps they are defiantly angry and relentless in their abuse. In the end, I want to bring them together in one category. Let's call them "villains" for the duration of this post.

One of the things that breaks my heart is to see a person who has been wronged by a villain. Especially, when it rocks their world and it seems like they are imprisoned by the wrong-doing. Sometimes it enrages me so much to hear the amount of evil and hate that villains are capable of. I sometimes wish I could grab a bat and find justice a la "Taken". Some things are so wrong and no one should have to endure at the hands of another human.

I mourn with you, if you have faced the brunt of the black shadow that the human mind is capable of summoning. I wish I could take the pain away. If there was a way that I could, I would. I am sorry that I don't have that ability, but all I can do is say that you don't have to be alone.

It is easy to be angry with the villains in our lives. I believe you are justified to be angry. The question then becomes what are you going to do about your pain and your anger.

There are options. Like any other scenario that we find ourselves in, we have many ways that we can go. Broadly, we can try to take care of the symptoms or we can address the disease.

Many people go the route of when they get hurt by another, they deal with the thing that hurts them the most. They may seek revenge, believing that an equal or greater attack on the individual that hurt them is just and they will then feel like things are right. However, this may feel good temporarily, but ultimately it does not take away the damage done. They are still in pain. They do not feel like things have returned to the way they were.

Some turn into lifelong victims. They take the wrong that was done to them and carry it forward, blaming future failures on the past. If someone is bullied, they may carry low self-esteem that cripples their ability to reach their potential because of the doubt planted in them and then that doubt grown by their inner critic and bully. My own mom still carries the burden of her victimhood that she experienced from her mother and it clouded the rest of her life even past grandma's death sixteen years ago. This one is particularly hard for a person to recover from, because they actually face constant doubt in themselves and feel justified in not dealing with the issue thinking that it is someone's else fault.

Some live in reclusion from the rest of mankind. They will not trust people because people can hurt them. They live with fear and isolation. They can turn bitter and gain a vicious hedge of defensiveness. Perhaps they cut with their words or with their actions. Either way, the will not allow pain to come their way again. They will not allow themselves to be fooled again.

There are surely other ways people can react to the wrong-doing of the villains, but when you deal with the symptom of evil, you do not deal with the disease of evil. The sad thing is that if we do not deal with our pain or anger, we give the wrong done to us much more control of our lives and our character than should be. It is terrible the things done to us by the villains in our lives, let's not give it more power over our lives. We cannot control what people will do to us, but we can deal with how we deal with it.

If you are tortured by your past or by your villains, we need to have to prevent the evil of their actions from seeping into our actions. If we allow their violence or their hatred to make us angry, bitter, or afraid, we let evil into our lives. The evil that says "You must strike back", "You must close yourself off" or "You deserve this". If we want any chance of healing, we need to get to working on fighting the disease of evil.

We need to be assured that their actions are not a reflection on our character. Our actions are a reflection of our character. Evil being done to us does not mean we have to become evil.

How then, do we fight the evil of the actions of villains before it dominates our lives? It comes down to something that can be very difficult. It is the process of forgiveness. I am not talking about the simple saying "I forgive you" but rather the pursuit of making that statement true. It can take an incredible amount of effort to try and see that the villains in our lives are also victims. They are dealing with their pain, their issues and they don't know how. Villains are not born as villains. Villains grow up out of unresolved pain and pent up anger and fear. Villains are people that have not been able to forgive.

This is what I am trying to get at. If we do not become the people that do not let the evil done to them dominate them, then we will become the villains in the lives of others. We will be multiplying the evil. We will spread it more. We will become the very thing that we hate.

However, if we can latch onto the bizarre, yet wonderful concept of forgiveness, we will not only find that we can reverse the tide of evil, but we will actually find the healing that our soul seeks when we are hurt. It may be easy to deal with the symptom of evil, but I suggest that to fight against evil we cannot fight with evil.

All of these things said, I still believe that justice is necessary and that justice should be dealt with wisdom. If a person is in a place where their villain continues to attack them and hurt them, they are fully in their rights to go to lengths necessary to stop the acts of the villain from continuing. A bully needs to be corrected. A criminal needs to go to jail. An abuser needs to be separated from their victims. They need to deal with their demons and continuing evil should not be overlooked.

My pleading however, is for those victims. Don't let evil dominate you. Don't let the evil of other's become your evil. Allow yourself to be the one who forgives and in that find the thing that heals you. It is difficult and that is why I would submit that often we don't have the power to truly forgive. We need the one who knows forgiveness. Jesus, who came to the world in order to reconcile humankind with their creator, knows what it means to be rejected, attacked and wounded by those he came to save. He was killed in the name of evil, but he forgives in the name of goodness and healing because that is who God is.

May you find the healing power of forgiveness, the only true weapon against evil. May you know that your destiny is not determined by those who wrong you. May you find comfort in Him who is comfort.

"See my sister got raped, so a man got killed
Local boy went to prison, man's buried on the hill
Folks went back to normal when they closed the case
They still stare at their shoes when they pass our place

My mother cried 'The horror has finally ceased'
He whispered 'Yeah, for the time being, at least'
Over his shoulder, on the squad car megaphone
Said, 'Let's go Michael, son, we're taking you home'

Same pattern on the table, same clock on the wall
Been one seat empty 18 years in all
Freezing slow time away from the world
He's 38 years old, never kissed a girl
He's 38 years old, never kissed a girl"
- "38 Years Old" from the Tragically Hip album "Up to Here"