Monday, July 10, 2006

"Goodness" Will Spread Over the Land Through Merciless and Most Definitely Bloody War

It has been nearly three months since I last blogged (man, that sounds disgusting. It's almost sounds like I'm describing what it's like to simultaneously puke and diaraherra). And this is the most pressing thing at this time: Arrested Development must have birthed by angels themselves.

Now, I'm not sure if the theology is correct in that statement, but I would be willing to fight to the death over that statement. That's called "blind faith" or more accurately "factual truth". And when something is "factual truth" you want to make sure that you strong arm people into believing the same thing and that way "what is right" or "goodness" will spread over the land through merciless and most definitely bloody war.

That's why I'm declaring for the first time ever a crusade against the people at Fox and any that stand in our way, including those "peace lovers" that claim that "violence is an atrocious way to attain such a petty goal as to restore a TV show". Then all the crusaders will all stop and look at each other and kind of laugh because they were willing to kill people over a TV show. Which is ridiculous. Really ridiculous. But that's why we can't it "saving a TV show from cancellation" but rather "protecting the North American way of life" and then everyone will retain there bloodthirst and push forward with their crusade and if any dare question the legitimacy of the crusade, we will accuse them of "hating North America" and everyone will live in a sharp fear of trying to stop us from getting Arrested Development back on the air.

And in 500 years, when people will look back, they will see the clear necessity for the extreme measures taken to prove that we Arrested Development fans are rights. Especially the people who hate war. Or hate ignorance.

So, I've had of this of all this talky talk, let's get our swords! Who's with me!

1 comment:

JAnie & DAve said...

You could just take the easy road and just claim that your eldest son is dying and then apply to Make a Wish foundation and have his dying wish be to put the show back on the air.

Then when they show up, demanding his dead/dying body, you can claim that in your devine power you've healed him. Then a commune can live at your house, worshipping you and doing your every bidding! It'll be great!