Friday, February 24, 2006

Lousy, Good For Nothing, Know Nothing, Free Loading Infants

I don't hate children. I don't know where that came from. I really don't. It's just that a lot of my friends and other people I know are starting to have children. And I think that's, uh, rude. I mean I use to hang out with all these people and now they have babies.

I mean, we used to be friends. C'mon. I've been drooling all over myself for the past 23 years. Why do these rookies get the spotlight? I can put together coherent sentences and know how to manage a bank account. What do these kids got? Nothing. Nothing, people.

Some would argue that they are cute. I thought that we as a people were trying to move away from this idealistic Hollywood-sponsored movement of "cuteness" and start hanging out with people based on what they have on the inside. And I have a lot more insides than these "babies" who are doing nothing for our society but freeloading along. I mean I've known so many babies that don't bring in any income and who has to pay for their food and their living expenses. Their parents! I mean if I told my roommate to buy all my food and pay for all the rent and for my student loans, I'd be kicked out so fast. I mean I should know. I'm writing this on a laptop that I borrowed (stole) since Wednesday.

I try to break into this acting business and here I am being beat out for parts by babies for diaper commercials! C'mon, I look way better in those diapers. Lousy, good for nothing, know nothing, free loading infants.




JAnie & DAve said...

Janie would like to call you on your claims that you would look better in a diaper. She says come on over and we'll have a competition.

But you'll have to bring your own diapers. Ours are all 8-13 lbs, and, while you Are skinny, you're not that skinny.

Let us know when and where! We'll bring the baby!
-Dave C