I'm Like the Pimp-Prostitute of Marriage

I recently found out that a girl that I took on a date this past year is going to get married. This is exciting news. I mean I was so happy, I was celebrating and everything. Not for her, of course, but for me. I was so happy simply because my theory has come true! The theory has been in progress for a while. However, there was never enough evidence to support. Now, I'm not talking about my famed "The People On Lost Are Actually Robots" theory but rather my theory that states "If a female agrees to and participates in one confined space of time known as a 'date' with David Rae, they will be engaged within the course of one calender year. This most recent girl is the third one! I don't even think that it's a theory anymore. I think it's scientifically the Law of Erodavenamics.

The reason that this law works this way is one of two way, maybe both. First, when the girl goes on the date with me, she is simply so astounded by my incredible hotness, intelligence, passion and general awesomeness, she realizes that she is not the one to corral such a mythical beast such as myself and that she needs to lower her standards to that of normal human males and thus finds a suitable one quite efficiently. Secondly, it could be that she goes on the date with me and knows exactly what she doesn't want in a guy.

Either way, I think that I'm going to start advertising that this law works. And the benefits will be multi-fold. Not only will I generate more dates for myself and maintain my high society playboy status that I currently hold, but girls will be marrying guys they love, like or tolerate. Perhaps I can earn money off of this. After all if the girl goes on the date, she will be married, but not necessarily to me. For instance, if some shy guy who doesn't know how to ask out a girl, pays me to go on a date with her, she gets imbued with the mystical marriage energy that I produce and she sees the shy guy in a new light and then it is over. Of course, that may make me a pimp. Or a prostitute. Kind of both I guess. I'm like the pimp-prostitute of marriage.

So if you know a girl who wants to get married, send them my way. They'll be engaged in a year and not necessarily to me (the new slogan for my "business").