"Toptard" is not even a Spanish word

Yeah, I know. I missed a day. My sense of responsibility is a jerktard. I haven't been able to find some time to do this due to the fact that Domo now has domination over my life and grips my soul in it's icy clutch.

The job has been going fine for the most part. I haven't been told to kill anybody yet, so I'm pretty sure they're not some sort of cover for a corporation trying to take over the world yet. However, they may be lulling me into a false sense of security. I'll be on the look out.

I will say this about my new job. I really did think that I had worked myself beyond getting a pump jockey job. I have a drama degree. Doesn't that mean anything to anybody anymore? I went to Bible college. That's gotta at least hook me up into a sweet manager's position. But it doesn't! I mean, shouldn't I be president of another country by now? I am David El Toptard Rae! People tremble at my name! I command respect! My middle name's 'El Toptard' for goodness' sake! I don't know why my mom gave me that name. I mean "Toptard" is not even a Spanish word. Or any word for that matter. But c'mon, you people. Respect me! Give me a job. No, in fact give me your job. Just quit and I'll take over. Why? I have a drama degree from a non-credited school from Backwater, Manitoba with little to no experience! Who else better to run your company? I submit to you noone! How can you argue with that logic? You can't, because it blows your mind! Now, who's with me?!