It Would Be Heroic AND Delicious

This past week, a man bravely threw himself in front of a subway train in New York in an attempt to save another man's life. And he was successful. I guess I should clear that up that he didn't jump "in front of a subway train". He more jumped on the other guy and held him down as the train went over the two. Otherwise, it sounds like I'm saying the guy was successful at being hit by a train. At that point, I don't know if that would be much of a "success". Anyway, both guys turned out alright and everything's wonderful.

But a story like that always makes me wonder if I'd have the balls to do the same thing. I mean, I see a train heading for another guy, I don't think I would see me jumping down there would help much other than add another guy to clean up.

It's the same thing as seeing someone drowning in a lake or river or some other area where you'd have to swim out to them (like a large pool of root beer). I would like to be heroic and jump in there and try to pull the guy out, but what would more likely happen is that I would jump in and then I would start drowning immediately and now nowhere near the other guy. And then you'd have to save two guys. One of which is some proud jackaninny who has a hero complex.

Which brings me to my point, could I even be a hero? I mean, it would have to be a circumstance where I would not be adding to the problem. I would like to think that I would be willing to sacrifice myself for someone else to live, but it's not like I have any useful skills to help in a time of emergency. Unless I could somehow save the guy drowning in a large pool of root beer by drinking the root beer. Because I could do that. I don't think that happens a whole lot. It probably happened to one guy so far. And he was probably drunk. Drunk on real beer that is.

You see, knowing my luck, even things that are pretty straight forward, I would probably screw up. Like pushing a person out of the way of an oncoming car. Knowing my luck, I would probably push the person out of the way of the car and into the way of a semi. Or I would slip and look like an idiot. Although the person being hit by the car would take all the attention and nobody would notice. Except for one guy who will point out to me and make me feel like an ass for slipping and thus failing the guy shmucked by the car.

Too bad there wasn't a way to save someone by doing like a sudoku problem. I could do one of those pretty good. Or maybe by playing Guitar Hero. But until someone comes up with some way of helping me become a hero, I will just have to be Jack Bauer in my head. Or pray that someone happens to fall into a vat of root beer when I'm close by. It would be heroic AND delicious.