Other People By This Point Would Be Writing Books and Earning Millions, But I Instead Do Not Because I'm a Moron

I was just invited today to a birthday that is tomorrow night. It's Lauren McFadden's, who is a girl I met at Heathen Camp or more popularly known as Camp Wannakumbac (oh relax, they called me 'God Boy'). She's a good girl to hang out with and discuss the issues of the day with. And this is the second birthday of hers that I will be going to. The weird part is the fact that I have spent one summer with her at camp and a handfull of days of hanging out outside of that. The reason it's weird is the fact that there are friends that I have had for most of my life and I can't recall going to more than one of their birthdays.

What makes it even weirder is the fact that we have no common associates. I went to her birthday a couple of years ago and she was the only person I knew there. She was there with work friends, high school friends and then me. Since she had a lot of people there, we talked for a total of ten minutes and the rest of the night I hung out with her high school friends (there were only two of them, making the awkwardness to fit in a lot less).

Tomorrow is going to be a repeat of two years ago and I'm fine with that. I love oddball situations, because I live in a perpetual state of awkwardness and thus have the tools to survive and in fact flourish in such circumstances. Plus, it gives me more experience in dealing with awkwardness and also gives me plenty of writing fodder for future reference.

People wonder how I have so many weird, bizarre stories. I think it's in God's good planning that He allows all of it to happen to me, because most humans would crumble under the weight of buses crashing into their house, avoiding muggers, outwitting a con-artist, messy dating scenarios, the Debacle of '05, cursed jobs, knocking down half the set during the one performance, and of course conversing with crazy racists in the middle of Wal-mart. Going to a birthday where I don't know anyone, that's a cake walk. I could do that blindfolded while I fight a bear that has been separated from it's young. Well, maybe not. I don't think I could do that without the awkward situation or the blindfold. Or even if I had a gun and the bear was tied up. Either way, the bear fight would not be affected by the birthday party. Back to my point, other people by this point would be writing books and earning millions, but I instead do not because...I'm a moron! Why don't I write a book? If Paris Hilton can write a book - wait, let me rephrase that. If Paris Hilton is able to write at all, then surely I could write a book. I should mention at this point that the list of awkward scenarios earlier in this paragraph all legitimately happened to me. Normally, I joke around with long lists, but all of that is true. Thus you can see how earth shattering my book could be.